The gov’t should give us tips on how to stay broke

When William Ruto took over the reins of power, the very first thing his troops told us was they only found some 94 million shillings in the Treasury. 

Against this mathematical absurdity, President Ruto and his deputy spent 200 million for their swearing-in at Karasani. 

Also, in his first week in office, the new president, with his wife, flew to England to attend the funeral of Queen Elizabeth II and also to learn English mannerisms.  Later, he attended UNGA conference in the U.S. 

These foreign trips do not come cheap pal! A mere snore at a New York hotel for the VVVIP of a Head of State status for two days would cost the whole GDP of Uganda. 

Very quickly, the new administration barred Cabinet Secretaries (CS) from foreign trips unless with express permission from the president himself. One gets the notion the new administration is jealous the outgoing CSs might enjoy the luxurious and exquisite treatments that come with these trips. 

Various counties also spent millions on the swearing-in ceremonies of their respective governors and deputies. 

I am not going to touch on the ongoing inductions of the parliamentarians at the Coast. You are sure that even the MCAs will go to Mombasa. The obsession leaders, schools and cooperates have for Mombasa as a destination for get-togethers, conferences, etc., overtakes the red-stomach Andrew Kibe has for celebrities. 

Also, the government want to maintain the Cabinet Administrative Secretary (CAS), and they are asking for your input in the name of public participation. 

The high court had declared CAS’s position unconstitutional, but there are so many political souls in the Kenya Kwanza that must be pleased. Azimio supporters wish their petition which was dismissed by the Supreme Court as hot air, insignificant and mere hypotheses would undergo the so-called public participation for that Junet Mohammed would redeem himself on claims he messed the campaigns. 

Unemployed National University Graduates Association (UNGA) is asking when their HELB loans will disappear like the Covid billionaires’ scandals. 

The government also said there will be no subsidies for maize flour and fuel. Instead, they have subsidized the fertilisers. The farmers are asking whether they use water to transport their produce to the market. The msee wa duthi and get shoe shiners at Summit Hotel in Oyigis are asking whether the fertilizers will carry them to and from work. 

A section of farmers is saying the planting session is over and are wondering how the subsidized fertilizers will help them. Residential rumours have it that the fertilizers the DP Rigathi Gachagua offset were free gifts by the  Russian government to poor third-world countries. 

Teachers, parents, and learners cannot wait for the education task force on the Complicated, sorry Competency Based Curriculum (CBC) to air their frustrations. They say if Ruto appointed the six judges rejected by ex-president Uhuru Kenyatta [for no constitutional reason BTW) the same night he was sworn in, why is he taking too long to have a sincere, candid discussion on CBC

We need this kind of broke where you can afford to spend billions, but still, complain about how your pockets are empty. 

When Kenyans are boiling stones to cheat their children that something hot is cooking, so that they may sleep in the process of waiting, your Members of Parliament’s first business in the House is to bring back allowances and other packages that the Salary & Remuneration Commission (SRC) took away. Imagine getting paid for doing what you were recruited for. This pay, do not get me wrong, is exclusive of the hefty salary the pigs are paid. Kenyans no longer vie for elective posts to serve the people but to get rich and get away with crime. 

ION, the CBK governor and CS Treasury cannot agree on whether our debt is sustainable. The governor says for every 100 shillings the government collects, 60 shillings go to serve the Chinese and other people’s debts. The CS, on the other hand, says our debt is not that bad that should cause anyone to eat tilapia, before washing it down with cold Tusker and then sleeping until who is that? He says countries like Japan, the U.S.A., etc borrow three times more than their GDPs and yet they are very stable economically. 

The governor has hit back saying you cannot compete with Kipchoge Keino in a marathon if you are not constantly training. From the two, you can tell who is giving you paracetamol for your Malaria. 

Worry when a new administration takes over and the first alarm they raise is empty coffers. No. Taxman says his agency collects billions daily. Where does all this money go?

The kind of broke the government is experiencing is a rich man’s state of brokenness. The government is not broke, brolke— ya know what I mean. Yes, they are broke but not broke; like the kind of broke that you and I experience in our dilapidated situation. We, of all people, need our government to give us tips on how to be this broke without being broke.

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