Deputy President (DP) Rigathi Gachagua has been in free mode speaking his mind without giving a hoot about the consequences of his verbal diarrhoea.
Gachagua, with adopted hip hop nickname Riggy G, and only bling bling separating him from the braggadocios Francis Atwoli, is saying it all because no State agency will use sellotape to shut up his big mouth.
In his maiden speech at Kasarani on 13th September, Gachagua came out guns blazing at Uhuru Kenyatta’s administration. The DP turned stones saying how Kenyans rejected “intimidation, coercion” and ensuring their supreme will. The only stones he didn’t turn were the Kit Mikayi rocks in Seme, because of the heavy truth beneath his 200 million court case.
If the souls of those who fought for freedom during Moi’s error would’ve arisen, they’d died twice after hearing Gachagua saying “freedom is here with us and I want to tell Kenyans that finally you are free and we are finally a democratic country.”
Alluding to a state of terror, the next in command said Kenyans were “free and did not have to talk on WhatsApp for fear of being recorded by State Agencies.”
Invited guests known for the worst record on human rights like Ugandan dictator Yoweri Museveni and Rwanda’s Kamage – who wondered how elections can be free and fair – were taken aback at the democratic space in Kenya. Museveni couldn’t take it and left for Uganda at 2 p.m. having been around since 11 a.m. fearing Bobi Wine would seduce people against his regime.
And just when Uhuru had wished KPLC wacheze kama wao and switch off the power, Rigathi added they were inheriting a dilapidated economy – which afforded President William Ruto’s tours to England to bury Queen Elizabeth II and take photos with Joe Biden in The White House.
Riggy G then moved to the Coast on 16th September to tell the Directorate of Criminal Investigation (DCI) to keep off the governors because the County bosses should be handled with kids’ gloves like children they are.
And, because Gachagua is an administrative expert having worked as a District Officer, and now a part-time constitutional advisor, he asked the DCI to “go back to Kiambu road and wait for crimes to be reported there” because “they have no business in government offices hovering all over and creating a toxic environment for service delivery.”
What we didn’t tell straight away was that Gachague prophetically predicted the resignation of DCI boss George Kinoti and “the most incompetent Inspector of Police in the world” Mr Hillary Mutyamabi, 12 days later.
Kisumu Visits and CBC
On 23rd September, while President Ruto was smiling for the cameras President Biden, Gachagua flew in a military plane to Lake City to embrace the 94th Kenya Music Festival at Kisumu Girls High School.
Gachagua hijacked the opportunity to show he had reconciled with the latest fashion after he was bashed for wearing oversized suits. This time, he dressed in a floral shirt, a pair of khaki-like pants and a part of dark sunglasses. He then gave Kenyan ladies sleepless nights when he took to the stage and danced his stress out.
However, when he opened his mouth, he gave political commentators a field day predicting how he was eating more than he could swallow.
While giving his speech at Kasarani, the newly sworn-in President Ruto said he would force a taskforce to into the Competency-Based Curriculum (CBC) and present the public opinion for a way forward. But even before the task force meets mama mboga, Rigathi already said CBC is here to stay. This reads like writing the answer and then providing the methods used in arriving at the conclusion.
The number of times I’ve said Kenyans who no longer wake in the morning to catch the worm because the rich invented how to trap the worm at night can’t afford CBC beats the number of times I’ve written my name at government offices. But, I’ll not tire. CBC cannot work because it was not meant to work; it was a way to entrench social class differences between those who eat chicken and those who eat like chicken.
On 26th September, while addressing mourners at the burial of Baringo deputy governor Charles Kipngok, Mr Gachagua announced they issued an order for the citizens to be allowed to cultivate crops in forests with a view of increasing food production.
In the same classroom with the “rains come from the skies and not trees” Gachagua defending Moi’s error shamba system, said the forests belong to Kenyans and wondered why leaves and other tree branches were allowed to rot and yet the immediate communities suffer wheelbarrow of problems.
In the same line, landless Kenyans are asking when the order to invade the airports sitting on big hectors of land is coming. Homeless street children should also be allowed to make the KICC their home, with Path Othany’ community in Seme living around Lake Victoria allowed to use the water for irrigation.
Rigathi also hinted President Ruto signed an MoU with the Church promising a number of goodies including funding. Sex workers not known to complain, are this time wondering when they will be allowed to be issued certificates of competence.
It seems there’s much Gachagua will be telling us. Azimio can’t wait to listen to narratives about how Kenya Kwanza defeated the deep state, and system to win the election. Azimio needs this handout for 2027 now that they’re the minority in Parliament, both theoretically and practically!